It is so hard to write. I make it hard.

I make it hard because I’m always disappointed by my writing. It seems like the more excited I feel about what I am writing, the more disenchanted I feel when I read it over the next day. I want to write well. More than that, I want the words I write to be like golden drops of perfection that taste so delicious and sound so heavenly that my readers will be transported and forever transformed, just by reading them.

No pressure.

Many writers have shared the joys and frustrations of writing, and it helps me to know that successful writers – who seem to write so eloquently so easily – have been through the same struggles that I am experiencing now. I recently read an article by Jeff Goins about how it takes at least five drafts to write something worthy of publishing. He shared how one writer calls her first draft the “vomit draft” because it’s where she just gets everything out and onto paper. That name resonated with me, but for a different reason. Vomiting is what I want to do after I read my first draft. I’m sure many writers feel the same way, but the successful ones persevere. Do I have what it takes to be a successful writer? Can I persevere?

That’s my struggle. Am I really a writer? Is it worth the investment of my time and energy to continue to struggle to write? I have started a number of books already but haven’t had the courage to even come close to finishing them. What if I spend hours and weeks and months writing and re-writing a draft only to find it still makes me want to vomit when I read it?

Perhaps it’s the fear of failure that keeps me from finishing what I start. If I don’t try, I can’t fail, right? Or is it just laziness? Whatever it is, for the next 18 days or so I am going to write a post on this blog every day. I’m going to complete the 21 day Intentional Blogging Challenge. So there, Perfectionism! The Dream lives on.

Another day, another post.