I came before God with a heavy heart one day, my heart burdened with worry and despair, and I asked, “Poppa, what would You say to me today.” I saw an image of Jesus standing in front of me with his hands raised chest-high and upturned. I asked Jesus what He meant by that gesture and heard, “It means that all that is mine I give to you. I am waiting to give it. Just come to Me and it is yours.” His eyes were filled with love and compassion, and a gentle look of  entreaty.

In prayer I laid down every burden I was carrying, every thought and attitude that was holding me back, and I said, “Lord, I come. I lay down everything I am carrying and I come.”

I hesitated for a few moments feeling unworthy. He waited, still holding His hands upraised. Finally I walked toward Him. As I got close I became completely engulfed in Him. I was a dark womb-like space and I felt utterly and completely safe and protected, and filled with awe and wonder. I marvelled: “I have everything I need. I am nurtured. I am safe. I am loved!”

My thoughts continued, “I carry no worry at all here! Like an infant in its mother’s womb, I am helpless, powerless. There is nothing I can do for the ones I love and yet I have absolute faith that all will be well with them because He is in charge. Because He holds me and sustains me, He will do the same for them. I am not responsible for their lives and well-being – He is! I TRUST HIM.”

I realized through this experience that Jesus truly is the Source of my life – not just my physical life, but my spiritual and emotional life as well. Even when I don’t recognize it, I am dependent on Him for everything. Just like a child in the womb would die without the nourishment it receives through the umbilical cord connecting it to its mother’s body and nourishment, so my life depends on its attachment to Jesus, through whom I am made and nourished.

Since I’ve know Him I have been learning that all of my efforts to meet my own needs are fruitless and futile. I delude myself when I think I can – or must – take care of myself. Jesus knows better than I do what I need, and in His upraised hands He holds everything I need and more. He offers me more than I could ever ask or imagine!

This is what it means to be “in Christ”! In Him is the place of rest! In Him is the place of sustenance for body and soul. In Him is boundless love that surpasses human understanding and is not measured according to my unworthiness.

You are my Source, Lord Jesus! I give myself – all that I am, good and bad – to You. Thank You for reassuring me of your true, complete, and all-encompassing love.

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:20-21)